About me

If you're reading this, you're probably my friend on Facebook. Actually, if you're reading this, you're probably a family member. Which means you already know everything about me. So I don't even need this post.

But I'm going to write it anyway.

I am 23, which means I am old enough to put my age on the internet and not worry (much) about cyber predators. I am a college graduate, which means that on paper I am qualified for my job. I am married, which means I don't have to go to singles' wards anymore and I don't have to make new friends.

I have two cats.

I have no children (human ones).

I have the same laptop I had when I started school.

I can put my leg behind my head.

I'm out of interesting facts.

You know how some people change over time? I didn't. I'm one of those people who hasn't changed their entire life. In high school we all had to bring in baby pictures, and everyone could immediately identify me because I look the same.

So I go to the same church I went to as a kid. I read the same type of books I read when I was a kid. I watch the same type of movies I watched when I was a kid. I still like animals more than people. I still like being the center of attention, as long as I'm comfortable and don't feel intimidated.

I'm still intimidated by beautiful, confident women. They send me right back to high school, when I felt a thrill whenever one of the cheerleaders or "popular girls" spoke to me. I was the girl who wanted to be popular, but that doesn't happen when you read at lunch, never date, and actually do your homework.

Also I look really young. I think that ties into self-confidence. I have a theory that if you look older, people treat you like you're more mature, so you start to act mature. People still treat me like a kid, so I still act like a kid.

Cop-out? Probably. But I'm good at those.

You might be thinking, how did this "about me" post turn into me ruminating on how unpopular and awkward I was in high school? I could say it's because my experiences in high school help define who I am today, which is true, but I really just like talking about myself and my (real or perceived) problems.

Maybe I should call my blog "The Narcissistic Philosopher."

(That's actually not very catchy. Never mind.)

I'm back

Hello. It's me. (Emily)

Once upon a time, I was an intern for a news organization. It was my first real "grown-up" job, and it was tough. I worked a lot, I had to commute to a city an hour away, I had to wear nice clothes and look "presentable."

It was a struggle. So I decided to write about it.

I've taken all those posts down because they are embarrassing, but to summarize: the people I worked with were weird and funny, I sniped a Star Trek book from a guy who looked like Morgan from Chuck at a silent auction, and I spilled purple-colored liquids on myself a lot. It was an interesting summer.

Now, two years later, I'm back to writing on this blog again, because I'm still trying to cope with adulthood.

My life is actually really good. I love reading blogs, especially of people who are friends-of-friends, especially of people who are struggling with something and are choosing to share all the messy details on the internet. I don't know, I guess I really love raw emotion and I love trying to understand how people feel. And sometimes they say inspirational stuff about how even though life sucks it will probably get better, so that's good too.

But I can't really run a blog like that. I'm a college graduate working a full-time, paid position in the field I studied where I don't even have to dress up nice (because it's Saturday and I can, I'm wearing a Batman T-shirt and the hot pink sweatshirt my friend Shannon got me to replace the one her golden retriever ate), I'm married to a really great guy and we don't have any problems, no one I love is dead or dying, I get to sleep in as late as I want because my shift starts at 2 p.m., I have Netflix AND Amazon Prime. There is literally nothing bad in my life.

So why is it still so hard?

My name is Emily, I'm an adult, and I'm really bad at it. Welcome to my blog.